Word Crimes (Revisited)
“Word Crimes (Revisited)”
Let’s have a bit of fun at the president’s expense (and that of his English teachers). Check out a few of the more egregious examples of President Trump’s tweet and speech word crimes in this English teacher’s tongue-firmly-planted-in cheek lyrics and video spin-off of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “Word Crimes,” found on his hilarious Mandatory Fun album.
Remember, “We’re all role models: Kids are watchin’ and they’re listenin’.”
Following are the lyrics, YouTube video link, and crass commercial plugs for Mark Pennington’s grammar, mechanics, spelling, and vocabulary programs. Suitable for both Democrats and Republicans. Special 10% discount for White House staffers: Enter discount code 3716 at check-out.
Check out the YouTube video: “Word Crimes (Revisited)“
WORD CRIMES (Revisited) © Mark Pennington 2018
I’m an English teacher; I care about our GRAMMAR‒SPELLING, PUNCTUATION, and PRONUNCIATION matter.
So, when “Weird Al” Yankovic dropped his “WORD CRIMES,” I played it for my students, and we laughed a THOUSAND TIMES.
But since the election, we haven’t been the same; the kids are laughing at the PRESIDENT and he’s to blame
for those CHORUS
WORD CRIMES
against the English language.
WORD CRIMES
He causes so much anguish;
WORD CRIMES
High crimes and misdemeanors;
WORD CRIMES
Can’t he get a Twitter screener?
WORD CRIMES
His teachers couldn’t teach him;
WORD CRIMES
I think we should impeach him.
BIGLY
He thinks that something BIGGER is always something better; that’s why he starts his common nouns with CAPITAL LETTERS.
His favorite word is “bigly,” and he brags about his hands. No HYPHENATION, nor QUOTATION MARKS he understands.
The only BIG THING we know for sure is an ego so HUGE we can’t take anymore
of those CHORUS
His pronunciation is nothing short of mangled; his usage and his word choice are twisted, forced, and tangled.
He mispronounces CHINA and always gets some laughs, but every speech he’s ever made is filled with countless gaffes.
Just one word I’d like to hear from his tweet: Is it covĕfē or is it covēfe?
It’s those CHORUS
Teachers, popstars, parents, politicians:
We’re all role models‒kids are watchin’ and they’re listenin’.
The only dumb mistake is one that is repeated
So, keep that in mind before you say it or you tweet it.
He says he has the power to pardon his own grammar. I think we ought to put his English teachers in the slammer.
He doesn’t know the difference between right or wrong: an adjective or adverb, a fragment or run-on.
Now, I “Ain’t [sic] saying we never make mistakes (except the President of the United States)
with his CHORUS
“Word Crimes (Revisited)”
*****
Thanks for listening. I’m Mark Pennington, ELA and reading intervention teacher-publisher and amateur songwriter. Check out my assessment-based grammar, mechanics, spelling, and vocabulary programs at Pennington Publishing. Let’s keep our kids from committing word crimes while we keep our sense of humor.
Need more of my songs? Check out “Quick Looks at Good Hooks” for a nice sampling of my repertoire.
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